Suzanne Jacob

---

Parents who are confronted with violence, your children say they need social support and more leeway by The Authorities

For some parents to be home with their children from threats, insults and violent outbursts. How to cope with them in isolation from lockdown?

"people can order machetes online, did you know?" Julie* says she discovered on The Day of her Son Liam hacked family leather sofa in pieces.

In The Last couple of months, she says, did you call The Police , twice, to the West of the country home, the majority of barricaded recently, as she was, to break into The Bathroom while her Son - a Young Adult - trying The Door with a knife.

Now The Family lives together in lockdown, fights with isolation, the loss of your support network, and a claustrophobic atmosphere, which Julie describes as "tinder".

she said she believes her Son when he told police that he never intended to hurt you, he wanted you to know just how angry he was. But cases of intimidation happen two or Three Times a week, she says.

Suppose six months old, Liam has Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, a disability, caused by the action of alcohol in the mother's abdomen, the impact on learning, memory, emotion regulation, and social competence.

The Family to manage, to help his aggressive outbursts, to terminate the with The Help of a list of friends and supporters, who come in for a time, to defuse tensions. But these coping techniques are threatened by the rules of social distance.

Her Husband has to work outside of the house, as Julie says, if you can't call these Fans, "I Am very happy on My Own ".

It is not known exactly how many parents are living with violence from their children. Figures compiled by The Bbc in the past year suggest that The Number of incidents recorded, the doubling of police 14,133 between 2015 and 2018 - But many may not be reported.

'Like living with nitro-glycerine'

Helen Bonnick, a former Social Worker and activist on the issue, says that the international evidence suggests about one in 10 parents experience violence from their children, although serious accidents are rare.

she says that some aggressive children have problems in dealing with their emotions, But others are "much more manipulative and controlling, in a way that feels more like Adult violence".

Lockdown raises the stakes for these families, the strengthening of their isolation and to underline The Message to the parents of Violent Children , " you can't go that you are here with you, so you can do what you want and No One will know," says Mrs. Bonnick.

"parents, the intimate partner violence-And Then child-to-parent violence is often say it feels worse, Because it is your own flesh and blood," she says.

Neil, who lives in The East of England, says that the aggression of his Son , Ben, was just "cute" at the age of four and thought it was himself when he was eight. Now he is living with a teenager and "all of a sudden it is quite Dangerous " - with Ben always knives or bottles.

Ben is autistic and has moderate learning difficulties and ADHD. The interruption to his routine caused by the Corona Virus outbreak has sent his stress and made outbursts more likely, says the father.

"He is much closer to boiling over constantly. It's not really much for him to explode. It is like living with a bucket of nitroglycerin sometimes," says Neil.

A key coping strategy, before the lockdown was under Ben for long drives, which he found reassuring. Now also become Laden with fear, Because they fear, stopped by The Police for an unnecessary trip.

"life was already hard and Covid makes it more difficult," says Neil.

Peter James, a clinical psychologist who helps people with this Problem, says the isolation and shame that parents feel is already a major challenge in the fight against violence to children. But , he says, it can still be addressed, even in lockdown.

Dr. Jacob suggests that parents a network of supporters who can start what he calls a "campaign of Concern " - where you have to after an incident, A Number of people in contact with The Child by using the messaging or video Chat apps such as WhatsApp or FaceTime.

"Most of the children do not want to know that others in the community that they are acting in violent, aggressive, or otherwise destructive manner," he says.

If you are not "the silence of their parents" from others say about your behavior, they often feel forced to change, he says.

'is visible to be important'

But Suzanne Jacob , chief executive, says that the parents understand, in these circumstances, must, by The Authorities , as well as their communities.

she says, in some cases, children have used The Police to know the enforcement of the block against their parents, the Adult is to blame, if you are above The Law .

"So, while the parents says the feeling of guilt and inadequate and guilty about this situation again, how little support you have and how much people misunderstand The Situation you are in," she said.

Jacob Ms, says she wants to see more recognition by the government that home is not a safe place for Some People , whether the victims of abusive partners or parents with Violent Children

"Only the recognition, it is helpful to people. Survivors say is often confirmed to be visible is really important - it confirms that fact that this is a thing that goes on," she says. "This news would help people, you feel like you are not crazy. "

* the names of the Family Members have been changed to protect their identity. For more information about the organisations that can help, if you Visit experience domestic violence.

domestic abuse, coronavirus lockdown measures, self-isolation, coronavirus pandemic

Source of news: bbc.com