Dark Days

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By Claire BrennanBBC News NI

" It's all been done in his memory. They'll talk about Henry Gray . "

Louise Gray was at a routine check-up last May when she was told her Baby Boy had died. She was 35 weeks pregnant.

The 33-year-old was admitted to Antrim Area Hospital to give birth, but unlike other maternity units in Northern Ireland , it did not have a dedicated bereavement suite for parents.

That meant Louise had to deliver Henry on a busy labour ward. After Her harrowing experience, she channelled her Energy - and Grief - into changing that.

" I had to walk past all The Other delivery suites, " said Louise, from County Londonderry .

" You're hearing those first newborn cries. Nothing was more deafening to us. "

After Henry 's death, Louise and her husband Harry, who live in Ballinascreen in Derry, contacted their local MLA Emma Sheerin and started writing letters to then health minister Robin Swann .

They appealed for funding for a bereavement suite at Antrim to better support parents dealing with baby loss.

Louise said: " It was an ongoing issue that people had been fighting for for years, but we wanted to raise awareness. We thought how can we support them? "

'Making It more bearable'

are a safe, non-clinical place for mothers, as Far Away from live births as possible. They have separate delivery and living areas where parents can take time to grieve The Loss of a baby, in a private and comfortable setting.

Louise described the circumstances of Henry's birth at Antrim as " extremely clinical".

" I kind of staggered at The Door when I first saw where they were taking us, " She Said .

" Harry was sleeping in a hospital bed or an armchair. All you want is somewhere to Make it more bearable. "

The couple spent the months that followed lobbying politicians and fundraising for a bereavement suite in Henry's memory. They hosted a hugely successful fundraising night on 25 November, the six-month anniversary of his death.

Funding for the suite was eventually granted Last Year and construction is currently under way.

While The Grays initially hoped to raise £3,000 to help furnish The Unit , they recently presented The Hospital with a cheque for £28,800.

" We drew up a list of items we wanted to use The Money for. Things like a microwave, a coffee machine, a double bed, " said Louise.

" It may seem materialistic but they're things you would appreciate so you can stay behind a Closed Door and cry all day. "

Louise said the new unit was being built in a repurposed area of the labour ward, close to theatre but " far enough away from The Other suites".

She has unintentionally witnessed much of its construction, as she is currently being cared for at Antrim's maternity unit ahead of giving birth again in a few weeks' time.

" We Are So Lucky to get pregnant again. But there's no excitement or anything with this pregnancy. I'm filled with nerves, " She Said .

" I had this decision to Make - 'Do I go back to Antrim?' But if anything was going to get me through, it was Coming Back here.

" The Doctors and midwives are fantastic and constantly making me feel better. I know I've made The Right choice. They are superstars. "

Grief and frustration

Sands, a charity that supports parents in baby loss, to provide bereavement facilities in every maternity unit in Northern Ireland .

Stephen Guy, The Charity 's Northern Ireland coordinator, welcomed Louise and Harry's efforts.

" We Are delighted to learn that Antrim, which was The Next hospital on our list, will also have a dedicated bereavement suite soon, thanks to the fundraising efforts of Louise and Harry, meaning that every acute maternity unit in Northern Ireland will have a suite, which is what we set out to achieve, " He Said .

Louise hopes the new facility will provide some comfort to those going through such a traumatic experience, but she won't accept too much credit.

" One of the midwives said 'do you realise how proud you should be of yourself?' They can't believe what we have done, " She Said .

" But there are so many women, midwives and doctors who have been fighting for this for years. Our Grief and our frustration helped, but it was already on the radar long before we went through it. "

The Northern Health and Social Care Trust, which runs Antrim Area Hospital, said construction of the suite was almost complete and it would open in " early summer".

In a statement, it added: " The Northern Trust is very grateful to the Gray family, and all the families who have contributed to the development of this new facility.

" It will provide comfort during The Most difficult of times and ensure that parents and families are afforded privacy and sanctuary when they need it most. "

Louise said there was still " so much stigma around baby loss".

" For us and The People grieving With Us , we talk about Henry all The Time in a positive way. I Am not afraid to say his name, " she added.

" It's been a long road to recovery and the fundraising has provided us with a distraction. It's got us through some very Dark Days . "

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Source of news: bbc.com