Claire Fox

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You try to use the similarities in the arguments about Brexit , experts say

"We do not see the family now," says a woman in her 50s, lives in Norfolk. "We don't see that often, and now I have no desire to see you ever again. "

The Woman , the followers, who is French but married to a Brit who wishes to remain anonymous. You told how you felt, the "not talking" to some Friends and Family Members , after hearing your views about the Brexit .

she has not spoken with a few Friends - even though he's known you for decades. "I know, when I talk to them I would be in such an argument. It makes me very, very sad. "

And the family, she says: "I think my husband will try to Keep Me away from my parents-in-law, as much as possible, so I'm not in disagreement with you. He hates the confrontation.

"I know not thrive, but if I need to make a point, I'm going to make a point. "

On The Other side of The Debate , a 59-year-old Left voters from North London, says most of his conversations with "remainers" are "reasonable", although it "completely nutters", often on Social Media , the "can't deal with the fact, to leave the people voted".

"I have the ammunition I need, and you know that I know what I'm talking about," he says.

But he says that his Girlfriend - who is from the Czech Republic, and voted - was "a bit cross" about his voice.

"She Said I have to go back for them," he says. "But we are still boyfriend and Girlfriend now. We will not discuss. "

for More Than three years, Leaving sparks that disputes between families and Friends .

Also, Boris Johnson , of the avoid family, the issue of Brexit , Rachel last week, as the brothers and sisters, " brother, Jo,

But what to do with arguments about Brexit and when to give up? Experts explain the fighting art.

Listen and do not interrupt

The Most common mistakes that people make, while the arguments of the majority are not listening, obviously, and interrupt each other, says the author of the book, How To Argue, Oxford University law professor Jonathan Herring .

"If you interrupt someone, you are in essence saying you don't want to hear what you have to say, and this creates a bad Atmosphere . "

paraphrase what The Other person says, and you repeat it, can be useful

He adds: "you have to understand where The Other person is coming from. Good listeners will try to reach a consensus. There are issues on which you agree.

"On the UK's EU-exit, could you both concerned about Immigration or the economy, and if you both agree on this then it will help some of the similarities may have. "

It is important to try to figure out what is important to The Other person And Then adjust your points accordingly, he adds.

"If someone does not care about the economy, what a lot of statistics for the economy to be helpful. "

No cartoons

to argue about Escape, the people often go wrong by "on the basis of caricatures of the person you talk to," Mr. herring added.

"If someone says that they come out of support, someone might assume, you need to racist, or they're old-fashioned. Someone could accept [Remainers] are very, very liberal or don't care about Immigration . "

Instead, the good arguers hear correctly, your opponent's points', he says.

Claire Fox , the founder of The Academy of ideas to encourage the discussion and also a British EU-exit party MEP, agrees that the identification of the people is "really helpful", what is Left on the example of the voters, which is shown sometimes as, "on the side of xenophobia and racism".

"I understand, it is so irritating when people write from Remainers as a "remoaners' or as someone of the 'metropolitan elite" that," she adds.

MEP Claire Fox says that the UK is in loop "stuck" in the same arguments about Brexit as a "Time "

It is important to always respect and treat their opponents seriously, she says.

"If they feel they are condescended to and not taken seriously in the discussion, people are feeling defensive can.

"each other on Face Value , rather than the people in the different camps. "

Changing minds

Gabrielle Rifkind, a specialist In Conflict resolution in the Middle East , says you need to "curious and engaged" to find out why The Other person thinks differently.

the sound is also important, she says, to avoid the adversarial and critical.

And the success is not only measured by winning someone over to your point of view, says Ms Rifkind, who has voted in favour of it, but Remains "through the lens of healing the divisions, broken so deep is Our Country ".

"We have rarely listened, as we want to try to people with different views of the same thinking as we do, you over the barricade, to convince you, as the correctness of the argument. to endure.

"It is very difficult to have a different point of view," she says. "What people believe is often very deep in them, can be connected to your identity, but we fall into a trap of thinking, unless we can get that you don't think like we do, we are making progress.

"in the end, in a good conversation, we try to find the human connection, but this does not mean that we think alike. "

a Mediator Louisa Weinstein is true, it is "of little help" if someone wants to change their mind, without hearing it completely.

"What happens is that you want to impose your opinion even more," she says.

Losers' consent

meanwhile, it is important to know that sometimes you will lose, says Mrs. Fuchs.

she adds that is a part of modern democratic life in the UK, losers' consent.

"If you lose an argument, it does not mean that you will change your opinion, but you have to accept the decision," she says.

"you would then say:" I accept this decision, I'm going to regroup and to win, more people on my side To My argument in The Future . '"

when to stop

For Mr herring, even in the polarized Brexit debate, he believes, to sit, to talk to each other, will help people to discover where they agree.

But it is important to know when to stop, he adds - and realize your relationships are more valuable.

"If you know that the person that you talk, gets very excited, very quickly, it is best to avoid the topic," he says.

During arguments, the mediator, Ms Weinstein, the beats to summarize what The Other person says, and you repeat it, before you asked them, if that's what you said.

"For example: 'What I've heard is that you want to hate me and never talk to me again. 'You will say, 'no, you're just really annoying right now. '"

apart from the Time - "Small bitesize pieces" - for the discussion is also useful.

"Put boundaries around him. For example, " Let's talk about it for 15 Minutes , And Then we can go to The Cinema . '"

Ms Fox says it is "very tempting to retreat into echo chambers, in such a Time as this".

"It's a really unpleasant, feverish Atmosphere and so many exchanges, particularly in the Social Media , in the form of demonization, and it feels also to engage in abuse," she says.

"On The One hand, I can understand why people withdraw, but it is important that people do not [stop] to influence fellow citizens and put your ideas to us.

"I would never say that they are not an argument," she adds.

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Source of news: bbc.com